“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.” ~ Rumi ~
As I’m contemplating what to hold onto and what to let go of, I find my judgement kicking in and memories of decluttering come to mind.
I am holding onto this cream sweater that I put on the pile on the floor, do I keep it? I remember when I last wore it, I was at a party and felt tired that day. I didn’t really feel like going, just felt I was obliged to show up, even if it was for a short time. It was one of those gatherings where everyone engages in small talk, with no meaningful exchanges, just a display of polite conversation. Luckily, I found a friend there and things changed as we shared a book that we both read and enjoyed. It is always great to have a different perspective from an intelligent friend. She complimented me on my sweater and that is when we moved on to discuss colors and how they affect our moods.
I picked up that sweater off the floor and put it next to my face. Does the color suit me? It is kind of dull. My eyes seem dimmed and neutral when I wear it. I noticed a lingering perfume. I need to make a decision here. Do I keep this sweater or let it go?
Marie Kondo, the famous Japanese organizer, would ask: does it bring you joy? Not really, so back in the pile. However, I’ll keep the perfume for sure. Material things seem easier to make decisions about compared to habits and relationships with people. Which of my self-limiting beliefs, those stumbling blocks, do I move over and get rid of. Any of those bringing me joy? I don’t think so. They are becoming more like obstacles on my path of moving forward.
Are there any relationships or people that I don’t care to keep in touch with? Yes, I can single out a couple. Are these mere social necessities, or can I just let go of. So with all that in mind, I made a list. I like this methodical process of deliberating what to let go of. I don’t want to decide just on a whim, but want clarity on why I am no longer investing in an association, and focusing on the reason to nurture this association. Sometimes in business you need to be courteous towards associates, but the energy does not need to deplete you. Setting boundaries is similar to letting go. It is letting go of the energetic ties that bind us. Try this: single out one person who drains you and make a decision to not invest in that relationship. Detach from that person energetically and see if you feel better or not? You can still communicate with them, but you release the attachment that drains you. Imagine the cords of attachment with the other person and imagine a sharp knife or scissors and cut those cords. Can you see the difference?
This is what balance is all about. Letting go of things or people who will disturb the balance. Imagine you are riding a bicycle and you carry a lot of bags on one side of the body. This will cause the bicycle to swivel and get off track. What happens when you let go of that bag you are carrying, is that you will go back to balancing your bicycle.
Such is the balance in our lives: deciding what to keep and what to let go of. The sweater decision was easy. People and situations are not. With intention of keeping your balance, give it a try and see what you let go of. Enjoy that journey.
Doris Muna
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