I received a coloring book with small felt pens as a gift.  Now at first glance I thought at my age a coloring book, wasn’t sure if it was a joke gift …  however at a closer look it seemed intriguing as all the pages were like a tiny mosaic.

Woke up one morning early, saw the book and coloring pens, and I thought I’d start on a page.  An hour had passed and I looked up and examined what I had started.  At the same time I noticedI was very relaxed and in a very happy mood.

When I started to color this graphic, I filled up every square and did not leave any white spots.  Perfect, slow, and detailed.  That was my focus.

As I moved on to a big and yet bigger circle my hand started loosening up and I was no longer into detail and must be perfect.  I just filled each section enough to show the color filled up but let go of needing to perfect it.

Pink ribbons, walks for the cure, and awareness campaigns occur all over the country throughout the year, however October is the official month of Breast Cancer awareness.

It is the biggest shock, sitting in the doctor’s office, after taking a biopsy and hearing, “Unfortunately…” They don’t need to finish the sentence. One just knows. The night before was a blur of the mental scenarios, and they were sure they would be spared. But it seems not.

Those with whom I’ve spoken about this moment in the doctor’s office do not remember what they were wearing because people do remember those words but they don't remember what was said afterwards...and sometimes even what was said after, “Unfortunately, you have cancer…” Nothing matters. Life stands still. Until they crash down with the utter disbelief and question, “Why me?” Then anger and fear creep up together to play havoc with their emotions.

A very close relative of mine went through this, and I wish I could have taken her pain away or eased it. I could not stop crying. Why such a young person? It’s not a fair system! Is there a system, and some are chosen and some are not?

The breast cancer “epidemic,” as I call it, is taking a big hold on our societies. Not just breast cancer, but all types of cancer. I shall refer to this as “C” from now on, not wanting to write or even have it on my computer. Go away.